I can still recall with great clarity the moment we were told our son has cancer. I remember the nausea, the disbelief, the spinning room, my muffled screams. Surely, there must have been some sort of mistake.
My ignorance up until this point had been gloriously blissful. I never in a million years thought this would ever happen to our family.
But there was no mistake about it.
My son has been receiving chemotherapy for a little over two years now.
My son Ezra is the bravest, strongest, most vivacious little boy you ever will meet. My son has leukemia.
Our lives and our outlooks have changed over these last two years. The initial shock has worn off, but that doesn’t make it any easier. Certain parts, perhaps, but as a whole it has not gotten any less complex.
It never gets any easier to restrain my baby as people poke him with needles and prod him with machines.
It never gets any easier to watch him cry, or to listen to those heart wrenching screams of his.
It never gets any easier to look into his pleading eyes, and not be able to answer those pleas.
The other day when they went to access Ezra’s port with a needle, he screamed “I’m dying, I’m dying!” or when he told us he doesn’t want to be sick anymore….I feel so very helpless.
I know we will beat this.
The cure rate is phenomenal for his type of leukemia, its just that small grey area that worries me.
I have moments where I emotionally berate myself, because I feel as his mother, I should be able to fix this.
And I can’t.
I can’t make it better.
My love alone won’t cure him.
That my friends, is one of the hardest parts to accept.
I can’t wrap myself around him, hold him close and cure him with my kisses.
I can only care for him as best as I possibly can, and have faith that his doctors know how to cure his tainted blood.
But such is life.
Horrid things happen to really virtuous people. Amazing things happen to really immoral people.
Babies get cancer and morons win the lottery.
While fairness is a commendable notion in theory, it is just not plausible.
Life is not fair, it does not play favorites.
Revel in your bliss, count your blessings each and every day, you never know when life may throw you a deviant curve ball.
I can not stress it enough…life is too short!
Live with no regrets. Love freely. Flourish in everything you do.
This is our reality. And we are not alone, tens of thousands of other parents share our story. Over 10,000 children a year are diagnosed with cancer. AND THE INCIDENT RATE IS RISING. Roughly 2,000 children will lose their fight against cancer every year.
September is Childhood Cancer Awareness month. Sadly, most people don’t know this.
And trust me I get it. No one wants to think about sick children and dying children. To think about it, means you have to admit to it’s existence. You have to admit that this does happen to people, and that there is a small chance it may happen to you. It is far easier to turn a blind eye. I know this, because this is what I did too. Until it happened to me.
I am implore you though, don’t be like me. Don’t turn a blind eye. These kids and families need your help. There are ways you can help that won’t even cost you a dime.
-Donate baby’s umbilical cord, most hospitals have this option, please ask. Or contact Cord Blood Registry
-Donate bone marrow, sign up at the National Marrow Donor Program
*These three things alone could save a child, and it doesn’t cost you a dime.
-Nellie’s Catwalk 4 Kids , this is a wonderful organization that donated so many Christmas present to my boys one year.
Photog’s consider becoming a part of the Tiny Light Foundation.
Lastly, you can share this post on Facebook, like this post (see below), Twitter, Blogger, email, etc. Please help spread the word.
September is Childhood Cancer Awareness month, and its about time we all knew about it.